return to a project slightly left behind

.
and then the project
gets resumed
and you feel like it is so
foreign, like who could really be
responsible for creating this
and leaving it in such a state
but you know deep inside
that you are the one
who left it there
bleeding on the pavement
staining the streets all the way to the drains and sewers
the blood your own, and only you holding the surgeon's tools to make it right
but still it is almost that out of body experience of
looking at yourself in the mirror
only everything is right-side-right and not backwards
like you are used to, and then you realize
that you are merely observing yourself from a distance
and that the only way to make it work
is to get completely back immersed into
the project which causes you to get back
inside your own head, that blasted prison
that has confined you into the concept that
this exercise is something you actually
want to do.  Because you do.  But only because you tell yourself
the finish line is a piece of tape
tape
you tell yourself it is worth crossing for the sake of crossing
the problem with the entire scenario
is that you know
that it all gets rewritten
and redone
and reworked
and it is difficult to motivate yourself
it is difficult to put some locomotion in your step
some pep in your skip
jump
walk
trot
sometimes it is not really there at all
but you have convinced yourself that completion
is meaningful in itself.
lies
taught to us by those that never completed anything
it is their envy that they try to make truth
honestly, the end is the point at which you pick up and leave
because so long as you keep working
the project never finishes
so time to leave it now for another day's work
.