Something Wrong and Yet

Power - check.
Firmly in place - check.
The preparation for the day is complete
and yet something still feels inadequate.
The task list has been checked off and
the usual routine completed yet
Something isn't quite progressing.
Obsessing over what it could be
like a mad scientist tearing hair from scalp
And sprinting frantically across the concrete floor
The assistant offers no assistance.
Eyes bulging, like wide grapes ready to explode onto the monitor
violence contemplated. Contemplated. Contemplated.
The solution more repetition than revolution.
If at first you don't succeed, you are insane.
And yet, trying the same thing
seems to correct the issue.
The steam stops steeping, the boiling bubbles in the bloodstream begin to blur.
Oxygen once again enters and calms.
The routine, the tedium, the one that has worked so well for years has failed.
And yet, on trying again, works to perfection.
After the calm eye of completion breaks the other side of the hurricane.
Mad and tormented laboratory soldier frantically examining past events
that are no longer remembered or relevant.
Searching futilely for the truth, the difference.
If the pattern works incessantly, and works upon retry
how can one identify the error in the lone failure?
Self-doubt and evaluation flood over the levee and wash away
fears about the perfection of the system with a river of doubt about the operator.
And it is hours, not minutes, before the danger of the storm passes
and the operator has forgotten the mistake.